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2020 Cubs​-​Mas Carols

by Bleacher Bum Band

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1.
Javy The Greatest Fielder 01:39
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You know Willson and Rizzo and Vic Caratini Bryant, and Hoerner, and Heyward and Bote But when fielding the ball, There’s one player above them all… Javy the greatest fielder, He knows where the ball will go At second base or shortstop. Gets the runner with a throw All of the other Cubbies, Love when Javy’s in the game Getting the out at second, With his lightning Javy tag Helped us win the World Series. Love to watch him play Never lets a ball get by. Never misses a pop fly All of Chicago loves him, And someday I guarantee Javy the greatest fielder, Will be named the MVP! He’ll be named the MVP!
2.
Nobody is Coming to Town 01:12
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For the pennant, they’re not gonna try They’ll DFA and trade a few guys. Nobody is coming to town. Won’t sign anyone that Cub fans’ll like And next year they’ll probly go on strike Nobody is coming to town. Tom Ricketts wants a payroll That’s lower than the Rays But Lester, Chatwood, Schwarbs and Q All still need to be replaced The next few years, we’ll be in decline No free agents are gonna get signed Nobody is coming Nobody is coming Nobody is coming to town!
3.
Lester Always Flips It Underhand 01:23
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Everyone’s always bitching, he can’t field while he’s pitching But it could be worse when he throws to first Lester always flips it underhand Every time that he throws it No one knows where it’s going The balls in his grip but Jon’s got the Yips Lester always flips it underhand When the batters try their hand at bunting Jon has trouble getting off the mound But Anthony knows a bad throws coming But sometimes Jon launches it in the crowd The runner, he’ll retire if his throws aren’t on fire Balls stuck in the mitt, Rizzo does the splits Lester always flips it underhand Lester always flips it underhand!
4.
White Sox Len 02:33
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I’m screaming bout a White Sox Len Going to do their radio Lost Schwarber and Lester And now Len Kasper Man 2020 really blows I’m screaming bout a White Sox Len It’s revenge for Harry Caray Now there’s no Len and JD I blame Tom Ricketts and Marquee
5.
The Chicago Cubs Didn't Get Corona 01:09
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The Chicago Cubs didn’t get Corona, followed protocols Between every At Bat, they’d always put on a mask They washed their gloves and sanitized their balls The Chicago Cubs didn’t get Corona. No positive tests Like St. Louis and the Cards Yadi Molina got Sars in his sticky chest Brewers and Reds letting corona spread, and the Pirates cancelled some games So glad Cubs weren’t like the other Clubs, they kept the Virus contained Tommy Hottovy had it so the players were afraid The Chicago Cubs didn’t get Corona. Zero infections Remember 20-20 as the year they stayed healthy Hope in ‘21 They will score more runs
6.
Thank Theo 01:16
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Well the Cubbies did lots of winning, when Theo came to Wrigley But that was 4 years ago. Thank Theo. Thank Theo. Thank Theo. He made the Cubs so much better. When he signed Jonny Lester. But he also signed Morrow. Thank Theo, Thank Theo, Thank Theo Theo traded for Jake and Kyle, He got Strop, Rizzo and Ross Now the team is a stinking pile, and Jed Hoyer is the boss! Though we thank him for 20-16, the Cubs could use some fixing But Ricketts won’t spend more dough. Thank Theo Thank Theo Thank Theo Thank Theo Thank Theo Thank Theo
7.
Baseball is a Business 02:27
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Baseball is a bus-i-ness Owners getting get paid Cubs will dump some salary With a crappy trade Ricketts is out of money Willson’s on the block Who is Hoyer gonna move So we can restock? Yu Darvish was great last year Maybe he will go Kris Byrant costs 19 mill, Gotta move that dough Schwarber and Almora gone, Didn’t get contracts If there is one thing Ricketts hates It’s luxury tax
8.
Catch a Homer 01:40
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Catch a homer out at Wrigley Falalalalalalalala Better give it to a kiddie Falalalalalalalala If you don’t they’re gonna boo ya Falalalalalalalala You don’t really want that do ya? Falalalalalalalala Mai Tai Guy once stole a homer Falalalalalalalala Walk off shot from Kyle Schwarber Falalalalalalalala Left the kiddies sad and crying Falalalalalalalala In the Bleachers there’s no fighting Falalalalalalalala Cubs fans were so filled with anger Falalalalalalalala Cause Mai Tai ripped off the gamer Falalalalalalala Those are the rules of the Bleachers. Falalalalalalalala Didn’t know? Mai Tai will teach ya. Falalalalalalalala Falalalalalalalala.
9.
The Cubs Are Like The 85 Bears 01:34
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Oh the Cubs are like the 85 Bears Had hope for their futures But now they’ll be losers For 35 years Oh the Cubs are like the 85 Bears Championship Parades Once every 4 decades For all the fans in Chicago Bears got no Tom Brady Cubs won’t be the Yankees No World Series or Super Bowls Oh the Cubs are like the 85 Bears The McCaskeys and Ricketts Will still sell you tickets But won’t sign good players Oh the Cubs are like the 8 Oh the Cubs are like the 8 Oh the Cubs are like the 85 Bears
10.
Buck O'Neil 01:19
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11.
Oh 53! 01:36
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Oh 53, Oh 53. That was Buck O’ Neils Number Oh 53, Oh 53. The Cubs have to do something He won the medal of freedom He helped to end segregation Oh 53, Oh 53. Cubs should retire his number Oh 53, Oh 53. First Black coach in the majors Oh 53, Oh 53. He brought together races The players that Buck O’ Neil brought, were often traded like Lou Brock Oh 53, Oh 53. An equal rights crusader.
12.
60 Games Is Not a Season 01:44
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60 games is not a season. It really was a mess Could have been worse, we came in first 3 Games up on the Reds 6 and 4 vs the Pirates. Who should not have been hard A.L. Central was kind of dull. And we split with the Cards 60 Games is not a season. The offense was so bad The way they hit was just the pits. The strikeouts made us mad. And then we played the Marlins. Who should not have been there. The Postseason. 2 games and done. It really wasn’t fair.
13.
We Are Good 01:42
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We are good. The Cubs will go far With our young and talented stars Let’s go Cubbies. Don’t be crummy. Beat the Brewers and Cards O, No more baserunning mistakes, more discipline at the plate Window’s open, least I’m hoping, Our divisions not that great We are good. We cannot be beat Pirates suck and the Brewers cheat Hope the Reds are not much better, I think we can compete O, We’ve got pitching. We’ve got bats. And old Grampa Ross is back Window’s open, least I’m hoping, really hope the Cubs aren’t crap
14.
The One Runner Boys 01:47
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Cubs only scored one run run run run Against Miami just one run run run run run Homer by Ian Happ one run run run run They really hit like crap one run run run run, run run run run, run run run run, Cubs did nothing in the Postseason-son…...Screw the Marlins But at least we got real drunk drunk drunk drunk The roof across the street, got drunk drunk drunk drunk They gave White Claws to me, got drunk drunk drunk drunk Cost a weeks salary got drunk drunk drunk, drunk drunk drunk drunk… What a shame the offense stunk stunk stunk stunk , season was sunk
15.
Mai Tai Guy 02:14
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Mai Tai Guy, Mai Tai Guy Steals the ball Children cry Walk off homer from Schwarber was wild Then Mai Tai stole a ball from a Child He was very happy, till he saw his Twitter feed Mai Tai Guy Mai Tai Guy Twitters pissed, don’t reply He reached over into the basket. Elbowed out those bratty little kids Now he’s taking the heat Jerks yell at him on the street Mai Tai Guy Mai Tai Guy. Cubs fans don’t think it’s right I don’t think he deserves it at all. He already gave those kids a ball Leave poor Mai Tai in Peace. Leave Poor Mai Tai in Peace Leave poor Mai Tai in Peace. Leave Poor Mai Tai in Peace
16.
Happ Will Play in Centerfield 01:06
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Happ will play in Centerfield. Almora won’t get a deal. The platoon has gone away. Ian Happ plays everyday. Been a Cub since 17. Podcasting from quarantine. Lead him off or bat him eighth. Ian Happ will get on base Happ will play in centerfield. Sign him to a long term deal
17.
Ross's Accountability 01:30
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Ross’s Accountability. All the nonsense has to stop There’s no more optional BP. No more Mr. Nice Grampa Ross’s Accountability. If you go out there and stink David’ll get nasty and mean. And he’ll tell you what he thinks No more missing signs or sloppy fielding like last year If they’re thrown out on the bases. Ross will get up in their faces Ross’s Accountability. Make the Cubs Responsible Doing their jobs out at Wrigley. Being so accountable!
18.
All I Want From Ricketts is Some Cheaper Seats 01:23
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All I want from Ricketts is some cheaper seats Some cheaper seats, yeah cheaper seats Tom Ricketts, ya gotta sell me cheaper seats I want some inexpensive tickets It seems so long since I could pay just 10 dollars to sit in the bleachers Now Wrigley. With taxes and fees, Never gets any cheaper All I want from Ricketts is some cheaper seats Some cheaper seats, yeah cheaper seats Tom Ricketts, ya gotta sell me cheaper seats Miss Buying inexpensive tickets It seems so long since I could pay just 10 dollars to sit in the bleachers Now Wrigley. With taxes and fees, Never gets any cheaper All I want from Ricketts is some cheaper seats Some cheaper seats, yeah cheaper seats Tom Ricketts, ya gotta sell me cheaper seats Miss Buying inexpensive tickets. I want some inexpensive tickets
19.
No One Sings the Anthem Like Wayne Messmer 02:47
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No one sings the Anthem like Wayne Messmer I love it when he sings it with Kathleen John Vincent’s got lungs the size of Texas That’s how he holds a 20 second Free When Wayne Messmer sings the anthem There’s power in every note While all the Cubby fans are standing A beautiful sound comes out of Messmer’s throat Always sings it acapella There’s no karaoke track Wayne Messmer’s such an awesome fella And his tone and pitch is rarely sharp or flat No one sings the Anthem like Wayne Messmer I love it when he sings it with Kathleen John Vincent’s got lungs the size of Texas That’s how he holds a 20 second Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…. And the home of the……braaaaaeeeeeeve
20.
The Cubs Need Good Players 02:07
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The Cubs need good players Our offense is broken I thought we would wi-in the World Series again Since 20-16. Nothing but frustrations Oh Cubs why don’t you score runs Oh Cubs why don’t you score runs Oh Cubs why don’t you score runs Blow up the core
21.
No Fighting in the Bleachers 02:51
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No fighting in the Bleachers What did your mama teach ya? There is no fighting in the bleachers So take that shit outside. Don’t do the wave at Wrigley Don’t act a drunken fool Don’t get up between innings Follow this simple rule No fighting in the bleachers What did your mama teach ya? There is no fighting in the bleachers So take that shit outside. Please never start a cup snake If the games close or tied Don’t make em with runners on In the top of the 9th No fighting in the bleachers What did your mama teach ya? There is no fighting in the bleachers So take that shit outside.
22.
Have Yourself a Very Cubbie Christmas 04:16
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Have yourself a very Cubbie Christmas Keep your hope alive This year wasn’t easy but we will survive Have yourself a very Cubbie Christmas Throw last year away Dream of watching baseball on some sunny day We will all be out at Wrigley Watching our Cubbies once more Eating hot dogs and drinking buds Cheering for our Cubs to score Let’s hope this year everything gets better Start the healing now See you in Chicago cheering in the crowd And have yourself a very Cubbie Christmas now
23.
We Wish You a Merry Cubs-Mas 01:08
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We Wish You a Merry Cubsmas We Wish You a Merry Cubsmas We Wish You a Merry Cubsmas It’s Gonna Be Our Year (2x) Win another ring with our Superstars We Wish You a Merry Cubsmas It’s Gonna Be Our Year Sign us a couple hitters Sign us a couple hitters Sign us a couple hitters We need some new players Win another ring with our Superstars We Wish You a Merry Cubsmas It’s Gonna Be Our Year We Wish You a Merry Cubsmas We Wish You a Merry Cubsmas We Wish You a Merry Cubsmas It’s Gonna Be Our Year

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Sing along to the 2020 Cubs-Mas Album! Your 2020 Cubs-Mas hymnal is here. docs.google.com/document/d/1IPcUKCf2UbsaEKEx9Cr9UgvPSaxaUstp0N-76W2-p2M/edit?usp=sharing

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released December 23, 2020

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Bleacher Bum Band Chicago, Illinois

Danny Rockett has written, sung, and produced songs about baseball and just about everything else under the sun in a musical career spanning over 2 decades.

Included on this page are baseball originals, covers and parodies and the music of the Ant-Folk Comedy band Bad Teenage Moustache ... more

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